I knew immediately she was for
me. It was 1960. I was almost a teen and quite impressionable.
She said all the right things to entice me.
Every move she made seemed perfect.
She told me how much she loved me, and everyone around me. She didn’t care about my position in our
world, only my character and my willingness to help her. I was a poor boy; she was rich and
sophisticated. But she opened her arms to
me anyway. I was, at first, smitten; then,
I fell deeply in love.
When I was 18, after learning she
was having trouble with some bad people, people who told lies and tried to hurt
her, she asked me to protect and defend her.
I jumped at the chance to win her heart and mind, to keep her safe. It was not going to be easy, she told me. She even said I had to choose her over my
family. But she was so beautiful. I thought her heart so pure. I could not resist. My family must come second.
Not long after I left home, she
had some dark moments. She suddenly seemed
paranoid and afraid of others. I was
sure she would be fine. After all, those
people had lied to her and tried to hurt her.
It obviously affected her deeply.
If I stand beside her I’m sure she’ll get over it.
And, support I did. Year after year. I worked hard. Did what I was supposed to do to prove to her
my love. Whether she was good or bad to
me, I remained her friend.
Meanwhile, decades passed. I kept my optimism and hope alive, knowing
one day she will see her way to me…again.
But just the opposite occurred. She
grew colder and more aloof. She kept
turning away, so much so that we were now moving in opposite directions.
She seemed to enjoy the dark side
of life. She enjoyed the bad boys. She seemed
to care only for position. She sought
the company of only a few, not all. Former
friends saw the same as me. The
beautiful girl I loved was suddenly not interested in me. I was too poor to be her love or even her
friend.
Now, as I’ve reached the winter
of my years, she has abandoned me altogether.
Her friends now are as cold as the driven white snow. It seems her money keeps her warm, but her
love is gone. She rages in seeming
paranoia. Former friends have abandoned
her. “Look what they did to me?” she screams to those few who still love
her.
She turns to religion, but it is
not the religion of our youth. Now
wealth and fame are all that is important.
The sins we used to avoid are no longer sins, but graces. The graces we knew as children are now sins.
Why so dark I ask her? Where did I fail you? I do not recognize what you’ve become. I hope your beauty does not completely fade before you remember who you are and return to the light. But for now, I must leave to protect myself from your rage.
Goodbye, America!
