ON "El MURO DEL TRUMP": MEXICO FINALLY AGREES TO BUILD AND PAY FOR THE WALL

First published in November 2016, this article has been edited to meet the need for Mexico to close the border to the nation with the most COVID-19 cases.

In surprise news released today, Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador announced his government has reached an agreement with President Donald Trump to build and finance construction of "El Muro del Trump." The announcement said construction is scheduled to begin 1 April 2020.

"My government gave President Trump's proposal a great deal of thought," López  explained in the three-page announcement. "My cabinet members agreed unanimously; we need a wall between our nations."

Mexico's Attorney General, Alejandro Gertz Manero, was enthusiastic in his response to the announcement.  "Our data shows all the Americans who come to Mexico are, in fact, infected with COVID-19," said the Attorney General with a cherubic grin. "Why would we want them in our beautiful country?" he asked.

José Rafael Ojeda Durán, Mexico's Secretary of the Navy and an Admiral, went even further in his statement, "With a wall we will only have to worry about our coastlines, taking pressure off our overtaxed military."

In the Mexican Senate, the President, Mónica Fernández Balboa, expressed surprise at the announcement. "I have been watching closely the spread of this virus in the USA, and, frankly, I'm astonished at the speed that even an inept US President has been able to make the USA number one again," said Senator Fernández. "But, then, I've never understood you crazy gringos and your fascination with reality TV stars," she explained. "Give me a good telenovela like 'Teresa' or 'Luz Clarita' any day of the week," opined Ms. Fernández.  

However, in keeping with the good heart of the Mexican people, the Senate President added, "We have planted a huge cactus near the site of our border to salute Mr. Trump's tenacity and love for Mexicans everywhere."

The Mexican government also released this drawing of the proposed wall, claiming it will be "una pared enorme y hermoso" (a huge and beautiful wall).  "President Trump insisted on nothing less," added the grinning President of the Senate. 

When questioned about the apparent change in the southern border of the USA proposed in the drawing, Mr. Trump explained, "I had my best people working on this for hours...architects, historians, and map makers."  "I can assure Americans this wall is drawn in accordance with maps of our border and with the full approval of the Mexicans, who are some of my closest friends" he added.  "What is most important, of course, is that Mexico will pay for the wall as I promised the American people."


President Trump, always wanting to be first, provided a photograph of the first worker hired by Mexico to begin the construction of this massive infrastructure project, which must be built in mostly desert-like conditions along the Mexico-USA border.

My thanks to DailyKos and Lalo Alcaraz for map.