ON "El MURO DEL TRUMP": MEXICO FINALLY AGREES TO BUILD AND PAY FOR THE WALL

First published in November 2016, this article has been edited to meet the need for Mexico to close the border to the nation with the most COVID-19 cases.

In surprise news released today, Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador announced his government has reached an agreement with President Donald Trump to build and finance construction of "El Muro del Trump." The announcement said construction is scheduled to begin 1 April 2020.

"My government gave President Trump's proposal a great deal of thought," López  explained in the three-page announcement. "My cabinet members agreed unanimously; we need a wall between our nations."

Mexico's Attorney General, Alejandro Gertz Manero, was enthusiastic in his response to the announcement.  "Our data shows all the Americans who come to Mexico are, in fact, infected with COVID-19," said the Attorney General with a cherubic grin. "Why would we want them in our beautiful country?" he asked.

José Rafael Ojeda Durán, Mexico's Secretary of the Navy and an Admiral, went even further in his statement, "With a wall we will only have to worry about our coastlines, taking pressure off our overtaxed military."

In the Mexican Senate, the President, Mónica Fernández Balboa, expressed surprise at the announcement. "I have been watching closely the spread of this virus in the USA, and, frankly, I'm astonished at the speed that even an inept US President has been able to make the USA number one again," said Senator Fernández. "But, then, I've never understood you crazy gringos and your fascination with reality TV stars," she explained. "Give me a good telenovela like 'Teresa' or 'Luz Clarita' any day of the week," opined Ms. Fernández.  

However, in keeping with the good heart of the Mexican people, the Senate President added, "We have planted a huge cactus near the site of our border to salute Mr. Trump's tenacity and love for Mexicans everywhere."

The Mexican government also released this drawing of the proposed wall, claiming it will be "una pared enorme y hermoso" (a huge and beautiful wall).  "President Trump insisted on nothing less," added the grinning President of the Senate. 

When questioned about the apparent change in the southern border of the USA proposed in the drawing, Mr. Trump explained, "I had my best people working on this for hours...architects, historians, and map makers."  "I can assure Americans this wall is drawn in accordance with maps of our border and with the full approval of the Mexicans, who are some of my closest friends" he added.  "What is most important, of course, is that Mexico will pay for the wall as I promised the American people."


President Trump, always wanting to be first, provided a photograph of the first worker hired by Mexico to begin the construction of this massive infrastructure project, which must be built in mostly desert-like conditions along the Mexico-USA border.

My thanks to DailyKos and Lalo Alcaraz for map.

"I AM POOR! WHO THE HELL CARES IF I VOTE."

Poor white men voted for Abraham Lincoln.  

They freed the slaves and won the Civil War.

 Poor people of all colors voted for Franklin D. Roosevelt.  

They got Social Security and 

won WW II.

Poor people voted for 

Lyndon B. Johnson. 

They got Medicare, Medicaid, 

and the Voting Rights and Civil Rights Acts.

A lot of poor folks of all colors didn't vote in the last election. 

This is what they got!

Still think your vote doesn't count?

REGISTER AND VOTE!!

USA Announces New Branch of Military Comprised Solely of Teens

March 4, 2021

In a surprise announcement made by President Biden during his 35th press conference since taking office on January 20, 2021, the President announced the establishment of another new U.S. military branch.

This force will be composed of only teenage citizens selected through a draft and led by Vice President Pete Buttigieg.  It will be known as the United States Geek Force.

The plan is to initially hire at least 10,000 young men and women, ages 13-19, and put them to work setting up cyber security and cyber warfare programs to replace the use of military intervention.


"We young folks," said the Vice President, "know full well it is far easier, and much less expensive, to just hack into your enemy's infrastructure support systems than it is to build bombs and fly them thousands of miles."  "Why waste all that money, and all those young people, doing it the old fashioned way," added the former Mayor Pete.

"Imagine I call President Putin," said President Biden smiling,  "And, I say to him, Vlad, look out your window and tell me what you see?"   The President continued,  "Oh, all your traffic lights in Moscow are red in all directions!"  "Want to see them green now," the smiling President Biden asked?  "That'll get his attention for sure," the President laughed.

Vice President Buttigieg chimed in, "Oh, and tell them the part about you telling Putin to look at his bank account and it registers zero rubles."  "That's the best part, Joe," said the former mayor of South Bend.

In the meantime, the Vice President outlined the security program making all electricity, water, gas, and other utilities in the United States and all of its allies immune from both cyber and land attack.  "We've already perfected a technique that if you try to enter any computer, operating any system in the US," continued the young Vice President,  "your system will fry like a McDonald's fish sandwich."

According to the Vice President, the force will eventually replace the U.S. Army, Air Force, Space Force, Navy, as well as Homeland Security, ICE, and the DEA.  U.S. Marines will be kept as a small contingency force able to move to support humanitarian efforts required after natural catastrophes or uprisings.

The President also brought out a group of young men and women who have already started working as part of this new force.

When asked what the new uniforms will look like for this new force, the Vice President added, "Your looking at them."  "The only thing is we will have a cool sleeve patch and baseball cap emblazoned with the geek logo," the excited vice president added.

A new general has been selected to lead this young force according to the President.  "I like to call him Mad Dog, because of his tenaciousness," said President Biden.  "His troops just call him a Geek God," chimed in the Vice President.

His name is Albert Ross-Stevens.  The new 14-year-old General hails from Albuquerque, New Mexico.  His mom, Rosalie, was on hand for the ceremony.  She home schooled the military's newest 4-star general.  When asked for her response to her son's sudden fame, the 36-year-old mother simply said, "I just told the President he still needs to be in bed no later than 9."

According to Mr. Buttigieg the money saved on eliminating the other programs, approximately $1 Trillion per year, will be moved to fund infrastructure replacement and improvement throughout the  continental US, as well as fund a health care program for all American citizens who wish to participate.

When asked to comment, Kentucky's new junior Senator, Amy McGrath, a former Marine fighter pilot said, "It makes sense, but I'm really happy President Biden is smart enough to keep my Marines."  "Hoo Rah!"  screamed Mitch McConnell's Senate replacement

THE USA HAS BECOME A "SHITHOLE" COUNTRY: AND I HAVE THE T-SHIRT TO PROVE IT!

T-SHIRT: $24.95 FROM CUSTOMINK.COM

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T BOTHER TO VOTE!

Those persons who wish to destroy your country and its ideals are the ones who decide who is elected to lead your country.  

Is that really what you want?  

REGISTER AND VOTE!

THIS IS WHAT YOU CAUSE WHEN YOU DON'T VOTE IN THE UNITED STATES

A child in Texas writes a letter to Santa Claus asking for food and a blanket. 

The rich pose for photos with money as if they're proud they let children starve in the cold night.

ON THE SEASON: A LETTER FROM BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH TO FATHER CHRISTMAS

Dear Father Christmas,
So my friend has asked me to write to you... I have to confess it's been hard to know what to say. Mainly because like most adults I feel preposterous asking anything of you because our time with you is surely done. Now we get our own presents, control our own fates, take responsibility for our own actions, and live in the world we have created... so it's not for us to turn around and plead for your help with the environment, the migrant crisis, the NHS, education, food banks, human rights, fundamentalism and wars. Though God knows we need all the help we can get with all these man-made problems and more.

And it's not that you aren't compassionate and full of joy. You're great. In spite of you being changed into different colours for corporations and being bastardised to represent materialism gone mad - despite probably originating in some season based pagan druid ritual a million thought miles from requests for spontaneously combusting hoverboards... Kidadults cynically pointing this out after having their moment of belief in you are wasting everyone's precious time. Because you are not for them. You are for the children. Children who need some magic in a world where the borders between innocence and responsibility, playful imagination and cold, adult obstacles are continually shrinking.

This is what I'd like to ask you to help with. A little more time for children to be children. Stretch the moment of magic and playfulness. Distract them from the realities of a world gone mad so that they can laugh with their breath rather than sob with their tears. Especially those caring for family members, or suffering illness, hunger or poverty. Especially those hiding in buildings as bombs rain down, or being handed shaking with fear or cold into a boat to escape environmental disaster or war. Please help to light up their worlds with a moment of joy and hope.

When I think about it you've got it tough this year... And when I really think about it I'm not sure that asking you for a lightsaber and getting one (not that I ever did by the way) is equatable with controlling the space time continuum and making the good of childhood last a little longer.

But you do inspire wonder and awe amongst those that write you letters and go to sleep hoping there might be a new object in their possession come dawn. You inspire good behaviour and, at least in my memory, some desperate last minute attempts to redeem bad behaviour so as not to be overlooked. Spare a thought too for those millions who want to write to you but through illiteracy can't. Hear their words and help to give them the time and chance to learn how to read and write so they can better their lives and escape their impoverished beginnings.

I feel a little sorry for you. And I guess I've done exactly what I said I wouldn't... Asked you to help with adult problems and solve some of the greatest worries we have for our children. I promise to leave some extra port and mince pies for you!

Lots of love

Benedict x

P.S. Please could I have that lightsaber now?