ON FLORIDA CONTINUES TO LEAD THE NATION ON CRAZY GUN LAWS

Florida is well-known for its willingness to throw caution to the wind when it comes to guns and laws. Everyone in America knows by now that the famous "stand your ground" law allows white Floridians to chase down Skittle-bearing black teenagers and shoot them without consequence. The law has recently been proven to include the slaughter of black teenagers for playing music in their car.  The one caveat is they must be playing music you do not like and playing it loudly [read: rap and hip-hop].

Did you know, however, that Florida law also allows students to keep guns on college campuses?  A Florida Appeals Court ruled that Florida colleges must abide by state law allowing students to carry guns on campus. A group known as Florida Carry has filed a lawsuit demanding that students also be able to keep their guns in their dorm room. According to a January 29, 2014, Huffington Post article, the group's attorney, Eric Friday, stated, "Students have a fundamental, constitutional right in the U.S. and Florida constitutions to defend their lives against criminal attacks."

In the meantime in Big Pine Key, Florida, Doug Varrieur has set up a backyard firing range, according to the newspaper Sun Sentinel. Despite complaints from neighbors about the North Carolina snowbird, Monroe County officials said there is nothing they can do.

In 2011 Governor Rick Scott signed legislation that made it illegal for local Florida governments to pass laws restricting the use of firearms. To add muscle to this mandate, the local official(s) attempting to add such laws would be immediately removed from office, face a $5,000 fine, and would be held personally responsible for any legal fees resulting from a citizen's lawsuit against the law(s).

According to the Orlando Sentinel it has been legal for gun ranges to be set up on private property for 27 years. However, since there were no rules in this law regarding backstops or types of weapons or ammunition, most Florida cities and municipalities set up local laws to disallow these ranges. These laws are now preempted by Governor Scott's 2011 law.

As Florida moves toward passing New York as the third largest state in the union, the Florida legislature is not resting on its laurels. Six new gun-related laws are in consideration this term, according to the Tampa Bay Times.

SB968/HB753-These bills allow school superintendents and principals to designate employees to carry concealed weapons on school campus.

SB1060/HB7029-Prevents children from being disciplined for playing with simulated weapons in school, this would include a student who chews his Pop-Tart until it is shaped like a gun.

SB544/HB523-Allows tax collectors to accept applications for concealed weapons permits.

SB448/HB89-Extends "stand your ground" protection to those who fire warning shots (evidently stand your ground requires the gunman to actually shoot another person).

SB424/HB255-Prohibits insurance companies from discriminating against gun owners.

SB130-Requires law enforcement to set guidelines for neighborhood watch programs and requires members of these programs to observe and report crimes only.

Because SB130 does not have a companion House bill, coupled with the fact it makes so much sense, it probably will not pass this session.

In my estimation, however, Florida must do more to keep its position as The Gunshine State.  Besides electing former NRA President Marion Hammer lifetime Governor of Florida, more legislation needs to be passed.  I propose the following.

1. Every citizen of Florida over the age of 7 is required to own and carry a pistol.
2. Every person flying into Florida for business or vacation shall be required to pick up a gun within 48-hours of arrival. For convenience, these will be available at airport and rental car counters throughout the state. Publix supermarkets will be the vendor of choice for those driving into the Orange State.
3. All people of color within the State of Florida are suspected to be one of the following: gangsters, thugs, illegal aliens, drug addicts, criminals, rapists, or murderers.  If you are a non-Hispanic white or Caucasian person please draw your weapon first before approaching any of these "types."  If you fire your weapon be sure to remember these two lines. "I feared for my life." "I was standing my ground."
4. No local or county law may be enacted to require weapons or firearms training of any kind.  
5. No taxes other than those already in existence to allow the state to claim its status as a "no income tax" state may be enacted to specifically tax ammunition or weaponry of any type.
6. No laws may be enacted that allow non-NRA members to run for any local, county, or state-wide office.

Bang, you are dead!