ON THE U.S. HOUSE SELECT COMMITTEE: WHICH HAIR STYLE WILL THE CHAIRMAN CHOOSE TO PROVE THE BENGHAZI "COVERUP"

Representative Trey Gowdy (R-SC), who represents South Carolina's 4th Congressional District, has been named by Speaker of the House John Boehner to head the House Select Committee investigating the September 11, 2012, attack on the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi. According to FOX News, Congressman Gowdy is said to be "honored" to serve the Committee as Chairman.

The Left Lean

The most important question being discussed around the Washington Beltway by those who know and work with the Congressman, however, is which Trey Gowdy will show up to lead the committee? Family, friends and the Washington media appear to be in complete disagreement.

"I think he will go with the left lean look," says his former high school math teacher, Mrs. Wanderlust. It shows he is not the hard-nosed former prosecutor those left-leaning Democrats will be expecting. "He was always a teddy bear in my classes," said the bespectacled former school marm.

The Right Lean

The Washington Times has predicted his right-lean look for the Conservative Republican. Reporter Millie Sung Yung Moon has written that Congressman Gowdy is a real Southern boy who would never even think of leaning left, much less wearing his hair that way for such an important matter. "He even wears his underwear to the right," Ms. Moon claimed.

The Swept Back

Mr. Gowdy's second-cousin Wilbur, a sixth-generation South Carolina hog farmer, had this to say about his cousin, "I think he will go for the straight-back down the middle look to show how non-partisan he is." Speaking to the Spartanburg Barbecue and Tobacco Daily News, Mr. Wilbur added, "My cousin is straight up the smartest person in our family so he'll know what to do."

The Summer Buzz

However, when the reporter for the Spartanburg Daily News asked Mr. Gowdy's first-cousin Wilbur for a prediction, he stated flatly, "Every Summer when we was catching polywogs at the pond Trey would have a buzz cut. I don't think he'll change that for those smartypants up in Washington."

Patty Nicholson, University of South Carolina Junior and President of the Young Republicans of South Carolina, thinks Trey Gowdy should wear a more youthful look.

The Down In Front & Unshaven

"He's so cute," she told the Gamecock Weekly News, "Why would he want to look old while all those really old Democrats, like Hillary Clinton and John Kerry, show they're geezers and liars?" she continued. "Wear it down in front and don't shave," said the 20-year old Gamecock's cheerleader. "Too bad he doesn't have a cool 'tat' on his neck to add to his coolness," said Ms. Nicholson.

A 4th District staff member, who asked not to be named because she was not authorized to speak for the Congressman, told a fellow staff member that she heard no decision has been made on which look the Congressman will bring to the Committee.

The Pompadour & Glasses

In her estimation, however, he should go with the, "cool youthful pompadour, but he should add glasses so he looks twice as smart as he really is, and three times as smart as his cousin Wilbur." When asked which Cousin Wilbur she was talking about, she exclaimed," Both of them!"

Reached at his home in Spartanburg, Mr. Gowdy had this to say about his appearance as Chairman of the Select Committee. 

The Mohawk & Glasses

"As I told FOX News recently I will hold a full and fair hearing on this cover up and apparent attempt to dupe the American people. I will look under every stone that proves President Obama and Secretary of State Clinton lied to the American people about Benghazi, Obamacare, his birth certificate, the Postal Service, Monica Lewinsky, the VA, the IRS, and anything else they touched since that Kenyan was elected President of our nation."

As for the hairstyle he will wear as Chairman of the Select Committee, the Congressman was non-committal.

Since Mr. Gowdy joined Congress as a Freshman in 2011 I have been able to discern at least 12 different hairstyles worn by the Representative. Obviously, he believes his hair is at least as important as the work he does for his constituents.